-::- here i am... this is me -::-

Thursday, October 07, 2004

fairy dust

when i turned on my laptop, i wanted to write something happy. something positive. something that feels good. so i fixed myself a cup of coffee, lit a cigarette and started to write. feeling writer, eh. hehe. coffee and cigarette.. sabi ni mahal, ganyan daw ang trip ng mga writers pag nagsusulat sila. eh wala eh... nagfi-feeling eh. bwehehehehe.

i finished half the cup of coffee and one cigarette in no time. but there was nothing in my screen. i lit another one. i turned off the lights. darkness usually gives me great ideas. something happy. something good. something positive.

and the result? well... just go look at the previous post.

someone, a close friend at that, told me the other day that i am a 100% bitch. oh yeah? sure, i was on this 'bitch mode on' since the start of the week, but i was still trying to be nice and calm. i kept my mouth shut so as to avoid saying something bitchy. i stayed quiet. i was having hell days at work. being called a 100% bitch doesnt help at all. you have been so nice, pal. thank you sooo much. it was your lucky day. or else, i could have shown you how bitchy i can be.

so...
as i was saying, i wanted to come up with something nice. some writings that will make me smile when i read it. i was challenging myself, convincing myself that i can feel great even if i don't. but it was kinda tough writing something happy when you are feeling otherwise.

i used to say happiness is just a state of mind. my mind controls my emotion. i can be happy when i want to. and i can be freaking sad even if everyone else around me is laughing. if i want to.

peter pan said... just think of lovely wonderful thoughts and they will lift you up in the air.

think of happy thoughts... for happy thoughts can make you fly. this often works for me. but not this time.





10 Comments:

Blogger robert d said...

All this and heaven too!! And I love it!! I am trying to decide if I need a haircut. You think you do and then when you are getting ready your hair starts to look so metro. What's a poor boy to do?

Snapping out,

D

PS - Fairy dust, I love it. And I cut my nails today. The ones on my hands. And I, as always, saved them. Had my feet done about 2 weeks ago and yes it was good.

12:39 AM  
Blogger shadowlane said...

hmmmm... can't think of a thing to say but thanks! saving nails? hmm... that is something.

9:04 AM  
Blogger robert d said...

Fear not little one. One day you will fly like the hawk, proud. You will write great things. You will be pleased and happy with your words.

Truth - It takes time for wings to soar. It takes time for your soul to be proud. But when it is as such none can deny. If you will it, it will be so.

How do I know this? My heart is proud and I write for you. And in my words there is a touch and you know, deep, that one day you will soar.

I and I hope you do, believe in the magick of the good. Life is and will always be, that which we hold dear.

Snapping out,

D

12:18 AM  
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"The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work." - Emile Zola (1840-1902)

-::- About Me -::-

Name: shadowlane

Location: Pasig City, Philippines

people think i'm crazy. most of the time they're right.

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