-::- here i am... this is me -::-

Saturday, December 25, 2004

merry christmas

merry christmas everyone.

merry. i should be happy. everyone is. well, i'm happy somehow. christmas day is one of the happiest days for me. it always is.

a part of me is happy. i've given so much today. it feels good. really good. i think i've made a lot of people happy, too. that feels good... twice.

some of the gifts are still with me. i didn't get the chance yet to see the people these gifts are for. maybe tomorrow. or the day after. or... i'm not really sure.

i'm happy.

but as much as i don't want it, a part of me is sad, too. lots of reasons. it's odd because i have reasons to be happy but i have a lot more reasons to be sad. on christmas day. what a life.

i miss my mom.

i miss my angel.

i miss my friends that i don't see anymore.

crazy, but i miss my sweet thing. dammit. he made me cry just a few minutes ago.

all the calls that i've made today have been taken except for one - the second most important one, the first being the call i've made to my mom. ahh... one gift might stay with me forever. i have a feeling that i won't be able to give out this one because i might not be able to see him again. why? no reason. just a feeling.

i think there is something that i must have done but i wasn't able to. i just don't know what it is exactly. sigh.

an hour more and this day will be over. a brand new day. i'm just not sure if it will be a brand new feeling. i hope so. i wasn't supposed to be sad. i don't even know why i feel this way. might be pms. hell, yeah. that must be the reason.

where is my fairy dust when i need it the most?

merry christmas, all!


Blogger Syed Siddique Sharaf said...

merry christmas !
feeling very light after reading ur blog ...
i too miss my mom and family and to celebrate a festival without family is really not complete ...
but cheer up :)
by the way , whats that "fairy dust " ????

1:16 PM  
Blogger shadowlane said...

merry christmas to you, too.

well, i guess you know how i was feeling. but hey, don't worry, i'm ok now. it all came to pass :)

fairy dust? go watch peter pan... you'll know what that is :)

1:28 PM  
Blogger Syed Siddique Sharaf said...

i thing it is the happy-thoughts can really help one fly high up ... thinking happy moments can enliven our spirits :)

1:48 PM  
Blogger shadowlane said...

exactly :)

i call my happy thoughts.. my fairy dust.

1:57 PM  
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"The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work." - Emile Zola (1840-1902)

-::- About Me -::-

Name: shadowlane

Location: Pasig City, Philippines

people think i'm crazy. most of the time they're right.

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