bitches and burns

it was a long day at home. yes, at home. i wasn't able to go to work because of this freaking headache that i had since yesterday afternoon. i thought i just needed to sleep, and i did sleep early last night. but it got worse when i woke up the next morning. it felt like my heart transfered from my chest to my head because it was as if my head was beating. i woke up at the usual time that i wake up everyday, but i ended up sleeping until 11 in the morning. i could have slept more if it wasn't for the rumbling stomach. i realized i only had burger and fries for dinner last night.

it was actually a restless day. i received a few texts from M, who made me smile, by the way. A called me when she didn't find me at work. i was able to call a few friends. i couldn't help but to think about work. work load is up to my neck. deadlines are coming in a few days and i still haven't finished any of my october reports. i haven't been working overtime for almost a month now. i used to stay at work until late hours of the night and i even work on sundays. all because of the new system that we started using a few months back. it wasn't a simple accounting system, it wasn't complete yet. there's still a lot of loop holes to work on. a very long procedure, indeed. but the [stupid] boss was questioning the long overtime hours. funny because we work overtime even with just the old system. we are obviously understaffed. and now we are using the new system, and the old system as back up. two systems, work load doubled, same manpower. THEN WHY THE HELL IS HE ASKING WHY WE WORK OVERTIME SO MUCH?!? we even told him and everyone else that we have to work longer hours than usual because... ahh.. do we need to explain more? where is that thing called common sense? and the even funnier thing about it is that the people who were supposed to back us up and explain why we need to work overtime didnt say anything. if the boss went straight to me, i could have explained why. but hell... so i decided to give them what they want. no overtime? sure. fine by me. i will have more time for myself, more time to rest, read, write, bum around, get drunk... everything. but they should not expect anything from me. i will do my work on regular hours and maximize the use of every minute they're paying me for, but i can't promise to give them the reports on time. it's just so not possible to do. bad feeling. really. i've been in this job for three years and i've given more than half my life to it.. for three years. all the people who are close to me can attest to that. sure, i was happy with it. otherwise, i won't last that long. the people were nice... but some changed in time. bitches came to life, true colors came out, and i even came to realize that in that place, you can't just trust anybody. still, i do my job and get along well with everyone, no matter how hard it gets sometimes. but the latest developments were not doing me good. for the first time in my working life, i began counting the hours. meaning, the moment i step in to the office, the first thing i do is look forward to the time when i can already leave the place. the situation gets worse everyday. if it doesn't get any better, i'm afraid that i will have to leave anytime soon. though i still have to consider a lot of factors. my best friend, for one. i don't want to leave her in the hands of these people, at least while i know she's still not strong enough to take care of herself when i'm not there anymore. though she's learning to fight for what she thinks is right, but i still have to train her more. we have to be a bitch when surrounded by bitches, anyways.

oh well, so much for that. if there is something worth mentioning about this day, that would be this : in the middle of all the head throbbing and dizziness, i was able to spend time with my favorite kid in the world. if i wasn't sick, i would have bathed in the rain with him when he called for me to join him and the rest of his buddies. i was happily watching him while he was playing with the remote controlled car that i gave him on his birthday last week. and i didn't know he could play jackstones that well. talented. hehe. we talked about school, about friends, about almost everything. hmmm... if this is what i'll get from a headache, can i just have a headache everyday?!? [wink]